i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My ass is underappreciated
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
