you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
