the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
