Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
