I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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