I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
