Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
