Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
