There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
