Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
