Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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