how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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