I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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