Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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