These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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