Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
