Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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