I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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