When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
