WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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