Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
