HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
