i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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