yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
