that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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