She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
