oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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