You just made me feel so damn special
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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