Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
