its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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