so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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