don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
