"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
