Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
