apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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