im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
