You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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