Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Im part way to drunk.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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