I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
