o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My bed smells like the plague
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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