you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
