You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
