She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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