we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
