I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
