I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
