I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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