hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You're like the curious george of whores
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
