I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Bring me that man meat
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
