which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
